It’s been quite anxious waiting to get an appointment for the biopsy. I was not sure if it would be a phone call or letter but I was kind of relieved when Graham the postman turned up with a pile of letters and some parcels from ebay. The letter looked official and  had  a large form for me to fill in. I feel pleased to know when my appointment is! First I have to go in for a pre-op assessment in five days time, the letter said  to allow up to three hours for the assessment. I will have to have an ECG, full medical history, my weight, height and what car I drive, (well maybe not that much info) Then comes the biopsy!! in twelve days. The long probing telescope-like device that is inserted into the uterus through the vagina and cervix, I am very glad to say it will be done under general anaesthetic and they are going to fit a coil and do a cervical smear test at the same time,  you could say (3 for 1 offer!) Then it’s the waiting game, to find out the cause of my horrid symptoms! Could it be the fruits up to mischief, banging into each other and causing problems or could it possibly be the unthinkable, unspeakable word that everyone shy’s away from, too awkward for people to talk about. I found even at this stage, the stage of investigation that people who I have told are playing lets pretend we don’t know anything and putting there hands over their ears singing La la la! I find it hard to imagine if I have actually got the, you know, “C” word. Will people avoid me, not talk to me, not mention it? I already feel different and feel as though I am treated different. I feel like people are speaking about it,  just not to me. How will I cope with a whispering support network that are too afraid to mention the unmentionable. What if i do have “it” do I tell people or do I hide it away in a dark corner and play lets pretend so I can not make other people feel uncomfortable!


I am glad I will be asleep during this procedure and not know anything about this instrument probing about inside my private area.  Just think, one little piece of skin taken from my womb holds the key!Yuck #dreadinglargeinstrumentinsidemymini!